Wednesday, March 9, 2011

On Being yourself

"Don't worry, just be yourself!" The world's most washed-out piece of advice that does nobody any good. If anything, this is a piece of advice that could worsen things for a person


Why do people tell the ones that matter most to them to be themselves when it's clearly a piece of advice that will be of no benefit or leave the person worse off than they did to begin with?


-Fear of offending/hurting


People are normally so afraid of hurting the ones they love. Heck, people don't want to hurt the feeling or offending people they just met because it's socially wrong. Nobody wants to be in the wrong. Nobody wants to be a social outcast by telling other people that something's wrong with them and we end up leaving them without guidance. Let's look at a simple example here: looks. How many people do you know are either too fat, too shabby of a dresser or simply too ugly and you didn't dare to comment on that? In your defense, if the person is too ugly, there's nothing they can do about it. Right? I'd say to hell with it. If a person asks you "What's wrong with me?" then give them the answer. They asked for it and should bear the consequences of what they're about to hear (I know. I'm a keeper when it comes to the ladies ask me if that dress makes them look fat *wink*). I'm not advocating being the preacher and going around telling people what to do with their lives, but tell it like it is when that person asks. In my life, I have met very few people who had the balls to tell me what's wrong with me when I sensed there was something wrong and I thanked them profoundly even though there was a little sting from hearing the truth. These people are the ones who have helped me grow the most and I can't thank them enough.


-Fear of success


There are people who choose to keep other people in their lives, whether they are consciously aware of it or not, so they could feel good about themselves. "My life isn't so bad. Look at my friend Bill…) To see their friends who were selected for the very quality of their failures climb up the ladder of success, regardless of which aspect of success, ruins the very foundation of that friendship. People can be vain at times and they need human sacrifices to feed their egos. Oprah Winfrey lost very near and dear people to her when she lost the weight and when she became the most powerful woman in the world. One could argue that it's because it may have been that power corrupted her and she became different, but if you really need to make a good excuse to disagree, then this post is not for you. The truth is a cruel mistress and I'm not one to shun her


-Set backs:


Not that I need to state the obvious but I will anyway. To leave a person in the dark stumbling for the door is despicable. If you don't believe in helping a fellow human in need, especially when it's not costing you anything, is despicable. What we might not be aware of is that we could've been the tenth person they asked for help and gave them the same spiel of "be yourself." When a person struggled for a while trying to find a solution and didn't get the help they needed they will either keep on searching or will burn out. There's nothing worse than a man who has lost all hope on life. Suicide is a case scenario, whether you think it's a good idea or not is entirely up to you.


-Perspective:


We were brought into this world kicking and screaming without the ability to speak, think rationally, walk or anything else for that matter. If one was to "be themselves" from the get-go, then what kind of world are we going to be in? I know this is a very extreme example so I'll kick it down a notch. Let's say someone decides to become a lawyer. Does one simply memorize text books, takes a test and gets a certificate? By all means no. That person who goes through all those years of schooling and being influenced by his colleagues and professors gets his life reshaped and molded. Do yourself a favor: go observe people's mannerisms, behavior, reactions, attitude, body language etc. People of certain backgrounds (and I'm reducing it down to professions to simplify my point) have certain ways of behaving. One with enough people experience can tell if they're dealing with a fireman, soldier, lawyer, doctor, stripper, etc simply by observing how they behave. Hence, any decision we make will inevitably change us because it will shape the way we process life to the way we behave and carry ourselves. It's done through our cultural upbringing, the shows we watch, the friends we hang out with, the music we listen to, the religions we subscribe to amongst other things. There is no will strong enough to resist change in our way of thinking when we're exposed to something on a regular basis. That is how affirmations work: being exposed to the same ideas and reading them aloud/writing them down on a daily basis so that eventually we believe it and we act upon it. Hence, change is constant. Change is the only thing that is constant. Not only is it constant, it's necessary. Just like changing water in a fish tank. Lack of change brings forth stagnation. It's very comfortable but it kills. Change brings forth discomfort but it's the only way to go.


Don't be yourself if you don't like your current self. I understand that it's not conventional but the masses are discontent for a reason and that reason is following traditional ideas that don't serve them. The world is changing and so should its ideas. It's not wrong disliking your current self. Just be sure to do something about it.

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